Most of us have tried, failed, and tried again when it comes to starting better habits. Whether it’s eating healthier, staying consistent with workouts, or finally sticking to that morning routine, the start is always exciting, but the follow-through is where it gets tricky. I’ve learned that sometimes the best strategies are not the obvious ones. In fact, 8 unexpected ways to create good habits have helped me (and my family) more than the usual advice, and I think they can help you too. These aren’t about perfection, but about making daily life smoother and setting yourself up for small wins that build over time.
As a mom of three, I’ve read my fair share of self-improvement books, including The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod, and I’ve listened to countless podcasts that promised the secret to success. From all of it, one lesson has stood out the most: simple is best. Complicated systems and rigid routines never worked long-term for me or my family. The real magic comes from small, doable changes that fit naturally into your life.
1. Tie a New Habit to Something You Already Enjoy
We often hear about habit stacking, but I think of it more simply. For me, it all starts with my morning coffee. I add a tablespoon of MCT coconut oil for a little energy boost, and that’s my cue to slow down for a few minutes before the day takes off. My coffee always goes hand in hand with either journaling or writing down my non-negotiable tasks for the day. I also take this time to double check our family calendar for appointments and after-school activities, and to revisit what we’re having for dinner that evening. This one small ritual keeps me from hitting that “what’s for dinner?” panic while trying to rush everyone out the door for sports. By linking my cup of coffee to these grounding habits, I start the day feeling more prepared and less scattered.
2. Lower the Bar, Then Lower It Again
Most of us fail because we start too big. We tell ourselves we’ll drink a gallon of water a day, or run three miles every morning, or meal prep for the entire week on Sunday. Big expectations often lead to burnout. What works better is shrinking the habit until it feels almost too easy.
Take workouts, for example. YouTube is full of quick five-minute routines. When I realized my core strength needed work, I could not mentally get myself to commit to a 30-minute workout. It just felt like too much. Then I came across a few five-minute workouts and told myself there’s no way I can make an excuse that I don’t have five minutes. At this point, I don’t even think about it anymore — I just do it. And here’s the crazy part: I started those five-minute workouts over six months ago, and they stuck. That’s the power of lowering the bar until success becomes almost unavoidable.
3. Make Your Environment Do the Work for You
I’ve realized that my environment often decides whether a habit sticks. For example, I keep a fridge drawer full of fruit and fresh veggies so there’s always something healthy to grab when I want a snack. In the mornings, my athletic clothes are right there in my closet staring at me, making it harder to ignore them. And when I walk into my home office, I can’t miss the 5lb weights and walking pad waiting for me. Those little visual reminders help me stay on track. Designing your surroundings to nudge you toward better choices takes a lot of pressure off and makes it easier to follow through.
That said, I also believe willpower has to play a role. Self-control is a muscle, and it’s something I want my kids to see in action. Not perfection, but effort. When they watch me make the right decision — whether it’s reaching for fruit instead of chips or getting dressed for a workout when it would be easier to skip — they learn that self-discipline matters. Our environment should help us, but our kids benefit when they see us choosing well, too.
4. Use Social Pressure in a Positive Way
Accountability can be a powerful tool, especially when it feels encouraging instead of heavy. Sometimes all it takes is knowing someone else is cheering you on. For example, a friend and I used to text each other after finishing a workout. There was no guilt if we skipped a day, just a quick “I did it” and a “good job” in return. It turned something that felt hard into something we were celebrating together.
I’ve also noticed how this works with my kids. If I tell them I’m going for a quick run or hopping on the treadmill, they’ll often ask about it later, and just knowing they’re paying attention gives me that extra nudge to follow through. The point isn’t perfection or pressure. It’s about creating a sense of community and encouragement, whether that comes from a friend, a spouse, or even your children watching. Sometimes we need to hold ourselves accountable silently, but sometimes a little support from others makes the journey a lot more fun. Do what works best for you!
5. Trick Yourself with Time
One unexpected way to build habits is to play games with time. I use timers constantly. When I don’t feel like cleaning, I set a timer for ten minutes. Almost always, once I’ve started, I end up doing more. The same goes for writing, exercising, or tackling emails. By telling yourself you only have to do the habit for a short burst, you reduce the mental resistance. And if you stop after ten minutes, that’s still a win. You kept your promise to yourself. The more often you repeat that, the more your brain starts to accept it as part of your normal routine.
6. Reframe Habits as Identity, Not Tasks
This one is subtle but powerful. Instead of saying, “I’m trying to eat healthy,” I started saying, “I’m the kind of person who takes care of my body.” Instead of “I need to save money,” I tell myself, “I’m someone who is wise with her finances.” When habits become part of who you are, they feel less negotiable. Think about it. You wouldn’t say, “I’m trying not to be a smoker” if you’ve never smoked. You just aren’t a smoker. The same works in reverse. If you start to see yourself as a reader or a runner, your actions naturally fall in line with that identity.
For me, this showed up in a big way when I decided to stop drinking alcohol altogether. It wasn’t because of addiction, it was a choice I made for health and to live a lifestyle that feels aligned with who I want to be. I want my kids, especially my oldest teenager, to see that you don’t need alcohol or drugs to relax or have fun. Altering your mind just isn’t necessary, and it’s not something I do anymore. That decision has become part of my identity, not a daily debate. And I’ve realized that many things in life are options until they aren’t. Once you make a choice that fits who you want to be, your habits begin to reflect that identity naturally.
7. Reward Progress in Small, Meaningful Ways
Rewards don’t have to be fancy or expensive. In fact, the smaller and more immediate, the better. Think about kids in school. Why do they get so excited when a teacher offers a voucher to pick a treat from the basket for reading a book? Sure, in today’s world you could go out and buy that same item easily, but the point is that small rewards work. They give you something to look forward to and make the effort feel worth it. I’ve found the same principle works as an adult. If I check off my daily to-do list, I’ll allow myself 15 minutes to read a magazine or scroll Pinterest guilt-free. After a week of consistent workouts, maybe I’ll buy a new water bottle or treat myself to fresh flowers. Celebrating progress gives your brain a hit of dopamine, which makes you want to repeat the habit. Over time, the habit itself becomes the reward, but in the beginning, little nudges keep you going.
Something else I’ve noticed is that I actually make progress best when I share less. People say accountability partners work, but for me, I realized I don’t need someone else to tell me I have to do better. I want to do better for me, not for anyone else. That means I don’t need someone checking in on my personal progress — I hold myself accountable. At the same time, I don’t think we should confuse this with celebrating wins with others or showing up for people when they need us. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with accountability. I just prefer to start with silent wins first, then celebrate with others when the time feels right.
8. Accept Imperfection as Part of the Process
The biggest unexpected lesson I’ve learned is that good habits don’t require perfection. There will be missed days, skipped workouts, or moments when the habit doesn’t happen. Instead of throwing in the towel, I try to remember that one missed day doesn’t erase all the progress I’ve made. It’s like brushing your teeth. If you forget one night, you don’t quit brushing forever. You just do it the next day. Habits are built on consistency, not perfection, and giving yourself grace is the best way to keep moving forward.
Now that I’m in my 40s, I feel something has shifted. Life feels different: more special, more fragile, and more appreciated. I don’t want to waste energy beating myself up for what I didn’t do perfectly. Instead, I focus on what I did do, even if it was small. I’ve come to realize that progress is about building a life you value, not about checking every single box. And honestly, that perspective has made habits easier to sustain because they come from gratitude rather than pressure.
Why These 8 Strategies Work
What makes these 8 unexpected ways to create good habits work is that they focus on both environment and mindset. Setting yourself up with cues and supports makes it easier to follow through, but I also believe willpower and self-control have an important role. Habits are not just about making life easier, they’re also about building the kind of character I want my kids to see in me.
When my children watch me choose fruit over chips, lace up for a quick workout, or stay consistent even when I don’t feel like it, they’re seeing willpower and self-control in action. Not perfection, but effort. And that matters just as much as the environment I create to make habits smoother.
The beauty of these strategies is that they combine the practical with the personal. They lean into joy, identity, community, and environment, but they also require those small daily choices that shape who we are. Over time, the mix of design and discipline is what makes habits last.
On A Personal Note…
If you’re reading this and feeling like you’ve failed at creating habits before, let me remind you that doesn’t mean you’re broken or lazy. It just means the system you were using wasn’t right for you. I’ve been there. I’ve set huge goals, bought planners, made charts, and abandoned them a week later. It wasn’t until I leaned into these smaller, unexpected approaches that things began to click.
Maybe your “habit” right now is something tiny, like drinking more water or taking a five-minute walk after dinner. That’s okay. Start there. Pair it with something you already enjoy, shrink it until it feels doable, and reward yourself for showing up. Before long, those small wins snowball into something bigger.
Now that I’m in my 40s, life feels different. It feels more special, more appreciated, and more worth protecting. I don’t want to waste energy beating myself up for not being perfect, but I also don’t want to drift through my days without intention. What I’ve learned is that habits don’t have to be overwhelming, and they don’t have to be for anyone else. They’re about showing up for yourself, one small choice at a time, and modeling that effort for the people who matter most — in my case, my kids.
Where Do You Want To Be In Six Months?
I often ask myself, “Where do you want to be in six months?” It’s such a simple but powerful question. Six months can feel like a long time in the future, but when you look back, it’s shocking how quickly the last six months flew by. That’s why starting now is always the perfect time. Not tomorrow. Not when things calm down. Now.
By using these 8 unexpected ways to create good habits, you give yourself a chance to step into the life you want without waiting for some perfect moment that never comes. Keep it simple, give yourself grace, and remember that progress is what matters. One day you’ll look back and see that the little wins added up to something much bigger. And that, to me, is the real success story.
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